I never want to hear anybody singing this.
If you teach your children this new version of the alphabet song, shame on you. Alright, that may be a little extreme. You can do whatever you please but, for real, let's just stick to the original tune. For as long as most of us have been alive, we've been learning the alphabet through a playful melody and, in order to have everything sounding nice, a few letters have been bunched together for peak rhyming. You all know what I'm talking about. Don't try and play dumb, acting like you never thought "Elemenopee" was a legit letter at an early stage in your life. Because of the confusion, a new remix of the alphabet song tries to clarify the fact that "LMNOP" are all separate inclusions to the list of letters in the English alphabet but, unfortunately, the result is absolutely horrendous.
Social media absolutely erupted over the weekend when somebody came across an updated version of the jingle, which is honestly straight out of my nightmares. If you're not down to ruin your entire childhood today, don't peep the video above because, damn, it's rough.
As reported by Buzzfeed, the new version was recorded by DreamEnglish.com, who describe themselves as a site to "make educational music that is not only filled with important phrases and grammar but is also enjoyable to listen to." This, my friends, is not enjoyable to listen to.