Chris Rivers reflects on the darker aspects of his childhood.
Yesterday, Chris Rivers and his OCD crew united for a cipher, which ultimately found all three rappers reflecting on deeply personal themes. Yet one particular moment has been standing out, given the insinuations about Big Pun and his history with domestic abuse. For those unaware, Rivers is actually the son of the late Big Pun, whom many have come to revere as a legend of the game. Yet Pun's history of violence is no secret, as a notorious video has been circling for years.
Now, Rivers seems to have directly addressed his father's abusive tendencies, shining a light on his difficult, and undoubtedly nuanced upbringing. At around the ten-minute mark, Rivers steps in for a closing verse. As the subject matter becomes more personal, Rivers appears visibly choked up, struggling to deliver his lines:
"And I ain't never tried hope, I struggled with the tightrope,
Around the ceiling fan, I tried to kill myself, tried to hang myself
See my dad raised me to be the only boy to protect everybody
While being a direct reason why I couldn't protect anybody
The self-inflicted, conflicting feelings of feeling like you gotta kill your dad to protect your mother
While not protecting her feelings"
Later, Rivers reflects on his father's legacy, and how sometimes complications can arise in the process of idolatry. "Cause my dad was a legend, that doesn't mean I'm a human? Cause his past was a lesson, that doesn't mean its abusive?" raps Chris. It's a powerful moment, made all the more so by the passion imbued in his performance. Of course, it might be difficult to hear about the darker elements of Pun's character, given his status as a hip-hop legend, yet fans must remember - they are rarely privy to the whole story. Respect to Chris Rivers for baring his soul on the mic, and we can only hope he's overcome the demons he once faced.
Be sure to watch the cipher below; not only is it both powerful and cathartic, but it's also a serious display of lyricism.