Lord Jamar hits Eminem with a highly detailed analogical burn.
Lord Jamar has become the Stan legion's number one enemy. At this rate, the hilarious Brand Nubian emcee slash Yanadameen Godcast host has mastered the art of ruffling Em's feathers, to the point where Slim dissed him on stage in Abu Dhabi. It's getting to the point where a diss track feels like an inevitability, though it's unlikely that Jamar would match Em's lyrical intensity on wax. Not when he can simply opt to clown him on a podcast as he's been doing thus far. Yesterday, he connected with DJ Vlad and Yanadameen guest host Godfrey.
"So Captain Caveman, aka Eminem," begins Jamar, before launching into a spirited impression of the character. "That's how the motherfucker yells. So Captain Caveman had a show over in Abu Dhabi. Apparently, instead of enjoying himself over in this country or whatever, making his money, fucking with whoever, his fans, he decides to get on stage with someone named Mr. Porter. I don't even know who Mr. Porter is." Vlad provides a footnote explanation, though the disrespect to Kon Artis and his production run has already been done.
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In any case, Jamar seems amused by Porter's hype man status, queuing up the clip of Em's original on-stage diss. He proceeds to mimic Em's delivery, while guest host Godfrey marvels at the impression Jamar left. "Now, I'm a visitor in his fucking mind," smiles Jamar, proceeding to run with the metaphor. "So first of all, he's dreaming about me, number one. It's a little weird. Why you dreaming about me? Maybe we have the answer to that, because a leak just came out of a song with him and Joyner Lucas, talking about 'What If I Was Gay.'"
"Now, he's dreaming about men, so maaaaybe," says Jamar. "Now here's the thing. My analogy of who this guy is, because people keep saying 'oh he can rap good, yada yada.' They keep focusing on that. Eminem is like that white girl that fucks with black dudes. Hangs out with black dudes and has daddy issues. In his case, he's got mommy issues. Is on drugs. Her claim to fame is that she sucks dick real good."
Vlad isn't quite clear where Jamar is going with this, and Godfrey pokes fun at Jamar's enthused cadence. Still, the Brand Nubian emcee continues undeterred. "She sucks dick real good, but she's not the type of bitch you want to get in a relationship with. You see what I'm saying? Eminem rhymes good - that's him sucking dick - he's very proficient at that. But he's kind of overweight, he's not the prettiest girl, he's got a grating annoying voice that bothers you. You don't want to hear the bitch speak, but the bitch sucks dick very good. That's ya'lls argument when it comes to Eminem. I'm just saying, metaphorically speaking, I like pretty girls."