On the anniversary of Big Proof's tragic death, it seems appropriate to celebrate his life's work. On this Throwback Thursday, I'd like to revisit his 2005 solo album Searching For Jerry Garcia, which brought the D12 scene-stealer into the forefront of the limelight. Bringing forth an enjoyable project lively with the spirit of Detroit hip-hop, Garcia revealed many different sides to Proof's multifaceted personality; occasionally hotheaded, often slyly comedic, and sometimes even vulnerable. While the eerily prophetic nature of "Kurt Kobain" was explored further here, the 50 Cent-assisted "Forgive Me" reveals Proof expressing himself at his lyrical peak.
"Go insane in a world evil as ours, I done shot at houses, people and cars," he reflects, over a melancholic, piano-driven instrumental. "The deeper the scars, the worse is the history, God, you ain't gotta forgive me, just don't forget me." The confessional nature finds Proof exploring deeper into his own emotional trauma, reflecting on his tormented history, his own self-worth, and his faltering path toward being a worthy father and man. Brutally honest, Proof's "Forgive Me" reveals a side of the rapper never seen on Devil's Night, further establishing him as a versatile and well-rounded emcee. RIP, Big Proof.
Barely raised by my dysfunctional fam
Here I stand as a dysfunctional man
Quick-tempered, short-fused and pissed at God
Demons pullin' at my soul 'til it's ripped apart
Secret's out, Momma: that fire, I started it
Fuck the fireman logic of the closet by the wire shit
What's positive about a father that bust nuts then wussed up
And a momma that don't show her son enough love?
Shit, that's why I run from my first son
And force these chickenhead bitches to get abortions